


"I'm so sorry" [Logicality]

by Sammy_is_obsessed



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 17:57:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_is_obsessed/pseuds/Sammy_is_obsessed
Summary: Logically, he figured Patton wouldn't want someone so cold and emotionless at times. He'd want someone to keep up to speed with his humor and feelings, so Logan didn't stand a chance. But that just wasn't true. In reality, as Patton confessed after a long while of them being friends with blush-stained cheeks and an extremely wide grin, he really, really, really liked Logan and wanted to, if he wanted to, take their relationship from friends to something more surreal.And thus, to Logan's shock, he started dating Patton. Though the idea of a commitment of his gargantuan size was daunting, especially with such emotional responsibility, Patton helped him through it, always making sure he was comfortable and felt wanted. He was in the happiest, most incredible place in his life. He had a boyfriend who cared for him who he adored, many nights Patton would crash at his dorm and they'd stay up late watching movies, and everything was going well.Until it wasn't.





	"I'm so sorry" [Logicality]

Third Person P.O.V:

Logan and Patton had been together for a little over four months now, a joyous and comfortable contentment having settled over the two. It was difficult, at first, for Logan to get used to the idea of being with anyone romantically, especially the guy that he'd been crushing on for so long. He had kept these feelings bottled up for a very, very long time, something he in the moment had thought was going to be fairly easy. He was a rather reasonable and logical man, so it seemed perfectly plausible to merely hide how he truly felt about his pun-derful best friend Patton. Except ... the weird thing was, with each passing day he'd found himself drawn to him even more than before. It didn't make much sense at all to him; he'd always expected to find a man who was fascinated with the sciences or who was an intellectual, or never find someone to share his heart with whatsoever. He wasn't good with emotions, after all, he didn't really understand them and so he'd thought that perhaps love just wasn't in the cards for him. And then Patton had stumbled into his life, quite literally.

They'd met at their College's library. It's been late and Logan was doing some studying for an exam that he was stressing over even though he knew the material fairly well. He'd been up burning the candle at both ends for hours, exhausted beyond belief but determined to carry on when he's risen from his chair to retrieve another book on the subject the exam was covering when he'd been pitched back, landing square on his back and having the wind knocked right out of him. His glasses had become misplaced and his vision was a hazy blurry fuzz. He squinted, groaning in discomfort before he'd felt a pair of hands clamp around his wrists and heard a, "Oh no! I'm super, super sorry!" The guy who'd knocked him down in the first place helped him upright and found his glasses that had been scattered to the ground. When they were back secure on his face and the world became clear again, this student was still spouting apologies, had been for the past thirty seconds or so. Gee, he really did seem to feel bad, but it was clearly an accident. When he finally did see him though, Logan had felt like he had fallen down again, his head spinning.

Normally Logan wasn't someone to distract himself with his appearance or other people's for that matter but damn he couldn't help but stare at this stranger. He was clad in blue, a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders. He had a pair of glasses just like him ... in fact ... Logan was pretty sure they had the exact same pair. And underneath those glasses were a pair of eyes that were so mesmerizing, more entrancing than anything in all of the cosmos. They were bright and full of sympathy and compassion and ... god, so much wonder, that much he could tell. He had brown hair, tousled from bumping into him and a blush adorned his pale cheeks as he continued to say sorry. Logan, in all his intelligence and means of coming up with a perfect way to logically explain anything, couldn't think much of anything except, 'He's positively adorable!' The moment he realized that he'd been staring, mouth agape with no sound actually coming out left him mortified and he sprang to action, trying desperately to come back from that.

"I-it's alright. Nothing serious," he'd said, absolutely hating the stutter that had been present in his voice. Though he'd expressed over and over again that it was no bother, the guy - Patton - as he'd told him, explained that he still felt bad and insisted that he should buy him a coffee to make up for it. Though normally Logan would have continued studying and brushed the boy off, he just couldn't help himself and was eventually badgered into saying yes.

In the hour, 43 minutes and 22 seconds - what? Logan liked to be precise - that they'd spent in the coffee shop Logan discovered that Patton was studying to become a therapist, had a soft spot for kittens, though he was terribly allergic, and absolutely adored puns. Though with pretty much anyone else Logan would've been turned off by the puns, as he did repulse them most times, he couldn't help but find it charming. Logan had to admit that the coffee had been bland and not too flavorful. He certainly wouldn't voluntarily go back to this place except - 

"Hey?" Patton had asked, sounding more apprehensive than he had before as he twiddled with his fingers under the table, tapping them against his knee, "Would you maybe want to do this again sometime? T-talk, I mean. I liked talking with you, i-is what I meant to say," he said followed by a chuckle that sounded rather nervous, "You seem very sweet, Logan."

"U-uh, yeah! I mean, yes. T-that sounds like an excellent idea." Logan had tried, the key word being tried, to keep his cool but the proposition of him being able to see Patton again, to really be able to be something that absolutely thrilled him! The pair had made plans to meet again at the same spot, and within a week they had. This became routine for the two, having coffee, bad coffee but neither ever vocalized the opinion, and chatted away. Patton was fascinated with all Logan was learning, actually wanting him to teach him about what he found interesting. Logan just couldn't believe it, he was really going to have someone in his life who genuinely cared about all he had to say, all the time. Sure, his other friends cared, but not like this and it touched his soul in ways he didn't think anything could. As the times that they'd met up grew in numbers, Logan's admiration for Patton excelled, but he was terribly nervous over this. 

Logically, he figured Patton wouldn't want someone so cold and emotionless at times. He'd want someone to keep up to speed with his humor and feelings, so Logan didn't stand a chance. But that just wasn't true. In reality, as Patton confessed after a long while of them being friends with blush-stained cheeks and an extremely wide grin, he really, really, really liked Logan and wanted to, if he wanted to, take their relationship from friends to something more surreal.

And thus, to Logan's shock, he started dating Patton. Though the idea of a commitment of his gargantuan size was daunting, especially with such emotional responsibility, Patton helped him through it, always making sure he was comfortable and felt wanted. He was in the happiest, most incredible place in his life. He had a boyfriend who cared for him who he adored, many nights Patton would crash at his dorm and they'd stay up late watching movies, and everything was going well. 

Until it wasn't.

It was no secret that Logan didn't really mind Patton's puns. They could get a little over the top and be a little bit of a tedious thing, sure, but they were manageable and nothing to fuss over, at least not until today. He couldn't remember what had started it, fuck, he couldn't even remember what had caused it but something had snapped in Logan. Maybe it was because he was a little on edge and grumpy from not getting a sufficient amount of sleep. That was his fault, he's been up late studying again even though Patton insisted it wasn't good for him and Logan knew it wasn't doing him any good but despite that he'd done it anyway. He'd gotten only about five hours of rest in the past two days, burning him out and leaving behind a mess of a man who wasn't fit to function. Maybe it was because he was feeling anxious that something was bound to go wrong in their relationship sooner or later that he himself became the cause.

Whatever it was though, Patton had just happened to have been making several witty puns and got caught in the crossfire. He didn't know why, god he didn't know but he'd fucked it up, that's what he did know. He'd snapped at Patton, explaining that he wasn't taking things serious enough and was acting like an imbecile. He'd snapped, "not every moment of your goddamn life is a time to make a pun. You're being stupid! Just shut up!" The moment the words had left his mouth in an impatient shout he saw the look of horror written all over Patton's face. His eyes went wide, body went rigid, and jaw slackened. He saw his fists tighten in clenched bawls and the tears welling in his eyes.

'FUUUUUUCK! What've I done?! What the hell have I done?!?!' Logan had wondered to himself, quickly realizing the severity of the situation. He'd never made Patton cry before and the sight of him stricken speechless, tears welling up under his glasses was like a hot knife slicing through his heart. Immediately, mind reeling, he tried to fix what he'd done, anxiety already gnawing at him.

"Patton I -." He didn't even get two words out before a sob bubbled in his boyfriend's throat and he turned his back to him, looking down at the ground to avoid his gaze as he stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him and locking it was a click. Logan's head was screaming "YOU IDIOT!!!!" his heart beating faster and faster in his chest. Of course, Patton's reaction had been that way! He knows damn well how emotional and sensitive he is and yet he'd allowed himself to hurt him. To hurt Patton, the man he loved, the man that was the first thing he thought of in the morning and the last thing he thought of at night. And he'd hurt him. Jesus Christ how could be so dense!

"Patton!" he said, his legs finally seeming to function as he stalked towards the shut door, pressing himself against it and knocking softly. "Pat, honey, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean it." He didn't receive an answer other than muted crying from inside. "Darling, I didn't mean it. P-please, Patton, talk to me. We need t-to tackle this with ration. Problems always have solutions, r-right? T-therefore this has a solution. Let me in, please, Patton? Open the d-door."

"N-no!" Is all he received through the door, the sobs choking at Patton. On the other side, Patton was curled in a bawl against the door, hugging his knees as cried, tears causing droplets of condensation to form on his glasses. He rocked himself back and forth, trying desperately to calm down. He tried, in vain, to think of a joke that could cheer him up, something, anything but nothing came. He wasn't one who tended to show his negative emotions of any kind, but now he couldn't hide this. Logan had called him stupid. He'd told him to shut up. He'd disrespected puns as whole and showed that he didn't take him seriously. Had Logan always felt this way? Unrealistic fears set in, gripping him.

"Patton, love, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to d-damage your feelings. I promise, i-it wasn't my intention, I-I assure you." Patton didn't want to hear it, didn't want to listen. "Darling ... p-please, I've been terribly ignorant and I-I didn't mean a-anything I said. I'm t-tired! T-that's all, Patton, and I-I'm not thinking clearly a-a-and -." There was a break in his voice, an uneasy silence cutting through the air. It was tense, lasting for several seconds before he heard it, the desperation and fear in Logan's voice. "Please ... please Patton I'm begging y-you," he said, voice a whisper accompanied by an onslaught of tears, "You c-can be angry. Y-you can even hate me now, i-if you wish. J-just let me apologize properly. Just l-let me say sorry." Patton took a moment, drying his eyes best he could and in taking a sharp breath as he rose to his feet, his hand gripping the cold metal of the door handle. He opened it slowly, the creaking cutting through the density of the tension. He found Logan with his head in his hands, glasses having been set down on the coffee table before he looked up at Patton with watery eyes, lip trembling.

"P-Patton, d-darling, I-." Without warning Patton threw his arms around him and pulled him into his embrace, his hands grabbing at his shirt so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Logan felt a breath catch in his throat, his heart seems to stop for a moment before he hugged him back, somehow even tighter.

"I don't hate you," Patton whispered in a sweet yet gravely serious tone, trying to compose himself with lips pressed to the shell of Logan's ear, "I don't think I could ever hate you, Logan." Patton's voice of reason has piped up now, taking control of his thoughts and of his action. He's emotional, yes, and it took a terrible toll on him hearing those things, however, he could see the regret brimming in Logan and despite everything, he loved him.

"P-Pat I'm sorry. I'm really, truly sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I would n-never, and I mean never want to do that. Your w-who I live for. You go a-ahead and be mad, Patton. I-I'm a disgrace of a person, a waste of life and I just -." Patton pressed a pointed finger to his boyfriend's trembling lips and shushed him, grabbing him by the hand and leading him to the sofa, sitting him down whilst still clutching his hand.

"No. You stop that this instance," he said, voice firm and steady, somehow, "I won't let you talk that way about yourself, do you hear me?" Logan paused, looking into his eyes. It was hazy without his glasses like it had been when he'd looked at him for the first time, but he was still beautiful.

"I'm ... I'm sorry, Patton." By now his words felt like a mantra, constant and consistently saying the same thing over and over again because he was, in fact, very sorry. Patton nodded, squeezing his hand.

"I know, Lo. I know. It's okay now." Logan felt gut-wrenchingly bad considering how the tables had turned and now Patton was comforting him but he didn't have the strength to voice it.

"I love you, Pat. I love you so goddamn much a-and I promise I'll never hurt you again." Patton shook his head, his cheeks wrinkling into a smile.

"Logan, no. You can't promise that."

"Pat I -."

"I'm being serious, sweetheart. Be logical, here. We're going to have arguments, we're ... we're going to hurt each other a little bit from time to time. It's never something I thought about with us, but it's true and it's important that we both expect this from time to time. I overreacted, and I didn't mean to, but I just can't help it." Logan's face fell, a frown present on his lips.

"You didn't overreact, Pat," he said, even though it wasn't exactly true, "and I don't want to hurt you ..." He said, voice low and sorrowful.

"And I don't want to hurt you either, Logan. I love you too, so, so much but it's something that happens in relationships. There are high points and low points, but we're gonna pick it back up because it'll just make us stronger. Come here, love, it's alright," he said letting go of his hands and cupping his cheeks in his hands, pressing several kisses into his face flushed from crying, eventually evoking a small grin.

"Look! I got you to smile!" Patton said, sounding triumphant with a giggle following it.

"Yes, well, I guess you did," Logan said, having had a bit of time to calm down. "All that you said, Pat ..."

"Mhm?" Patton cleared his throat, his face still being held by his boyfriend.

"I suppose your right. That was a ... um ... well, a very good observation you made. You're very smart, a-and," he paused, squeezing his eyes shut as he made a small attempt, "that deserves a P-Patton on the back." A smile ever so wide overtook Patton's expression, eyes wide as he noticed Logan's red-tint returning, not from dehydration from crying this time but as a blush.

"Did you just ...?"

"I – uh – I may have." At that Patton flung himself at his boyfriend, tackling him to the couch and pinning him down, cuddling into him and giggling uncontrollably.

"You made a pun, Lo." He noted, smiling against Logan.

"Only for you, Patton. Only for you."

Patton was right. Though they had their rough patches and little moments, the two always made up in the end. They were always there for each other and loved one another to death. Logan, from that day and onward, learned to love puns. Sure, they were cheesy and he didn't always understand them, but they made Patton happy and he wasn't going to take that for granted again.

=+=


End file.
